A harsh cold pervades the landscape,
covering everything with a layer of white,
hiding the once lush, vivid scenery
with its deep emptiness.
Every glimpse of warmth was
immediately rebutted by
a cold
worse than before,
leaving my hope
lesser
than it was before.
Not even the most valiant efforts
to keep the empty, white snow away
had any luck at all; This was a
stubborn cold, that set in deep and
chilled its victim to the very marrow
of their hollow bones.
And then.
A sudden change envelops the screen,
washing away the white with colors.
Ugly,
harsh colors,
but colors none the less.
The white empty began to seem less imposing,
less impervious to the pleading desires for reform.
A new day had come.
Although there is still white in my view, I feel
as though
it's not so bad anymore.
Spring will come, and
I once again will embrace the world with my smiles
and my capri pants.
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6 comments:
the use of 'pervades' totally convinced me of this piece's awesomeness. :P
the imagery is definitely strong, and your pace is excellent-- good emphasis and such.
wicked write
I love the chilling sense with all the cold descriptions lol. But seriously this is really awesome. WOOT!
You used great description! I could imagine what you were saying and it helped me get the meaning. Like mooncat said your pace is excellent. It flows really well. awesome job.
I love the descriptions. I can just imagine it. And the contrast between the beginning and the end is awesome. Love that touch of humor at the end. :D
i love your descriptions something that i definitely need to work on, reading this i get an image.
hehe its me i can comment too ^^ yea its nice i like the detail but its like a few things i have read before. Keep up the good work ^^
xoxoxoxxoxo Elliot
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